I don't know....I have asked myself that question everyday since Kit was born. And, lots of people keep asking now that Kit is 2.
I try to imagine our lives with another baby and I sometimes can't get past the fact that I would have to give-up Spotted Cow again for 10mos. Once in awhile, I do get past the first stopping-point and I wonder how I could become more patient, create more time, pull two more hands out of my ass, grow more money, calm down enough to have another baby, get a job that didn't require me to feel guilty about not working 50-60hrs a week.
Then I get mad at myself because I've only considered myself in the equation. HELLO--There's two other people in the house! Kit would love to have a brother/sister. I'm not so sure about my husband. He says, "maybe when the house is done." I know Hell is on it's way to freezing over at our house, but I don't think it's going to be as cold we think. There's always another project around the corner.
I read an article in which a woman was struggling with the decision of adding Baby #2. She and her partner decided not to grow their family and she wrote a great snippet on how she has come to terms with their decision: "Or perhaps in another lifetime I will meet my other child, the one I won’t be having. Or she will come to me in a dream in this life, and we will live together every night, after I fall asleep. Yes, I say to myself, yes. It isn’t that she doesn’t exist. It is just that she lives on the other side, and I will visit her and love her there."
Whatever happens will be and I'd like to think that I can rationalize it just as she had. Kit is one of the coolest kids I know and I'm glad that we are lucky enough to have her in our lives.
